Cameron, my 7 year old, says to me this morning, "Mom, when can I start dating?" I told him "When you are 21." He says, "Oh Man! I will have hair under my arms then and I won't be able to do armpit farts!"
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Monday, July 11, 2011
Tying Loose Ends
I had every intention of tracking Cameron's struggles with ADHD, but I started this blog way too late in the game, I believe. When I published the first post of this blog, we were already well into the stages of diagnosis, counseling, and trial and error when it came to Cameron's progress.
To make a really long, and drawn out story shortened, Cameron and I attending months of counseling with a psychologist (who is not able to prescribe medication). In these sessions, we discussed many different behavioral techniques to be used at home and at school. Cameron was so willing and eager to try all of them, which was really great! We had "sticker" reward charts, which would give him stickers for keeping his hands to himself for half a day at school, or not interrupting or "shouting-out". We found that while Cameron is able to do this for a little while, a full half day was not in the cards.
We tried other methods of rewards, like when the teacher would give Cameron "tally marks" when she would catch him doing what he was supposed to do. After so many tally marks, he would get a prize out of the treasure chest. It took him awhile to get a reward, and he quickly forgot about it once he got the prize.
We tried many other methods suggested in part by the psychologist, teacher and school counselor. There was still no improvement.
The school counselor purchased these bands that go around the chair in the classroom. These are supposed to let him move his feet on the band to get out extra energy. No difference.
We went through this trial and error process from October 2010 until about March or April 2011. At the conference with the teacher and counselor, I asked them if I were to try medication for Cameron, when the best time would be for that. Should I wait until the next school year since this year was almost over?
The teacher told me that if I were to decide to pursue the medication, that doing it now, which was the start of the 4th quarter, would be the best option. She said that they would be able to tell if it did any good being in the same setting, rather than with a new teacher the next school year. It would be hard to tell at that point if it is the teacher/environment or if the medication was making a difference.
It was at that point that I called the his family physician, with the high recommendation from the psychologist, to try medication. And I cried after I made the call. I cried after I picked up the medication and the pharmacist explained all the side effects to me (the pharmacists son was on the exact same medication that I was about to start Cameron on, so it was a huge relief to speak to him about it). And finally, the night before I gave him the medication, I cried the most. (I am getting teary-eyed writing this right now).
This was the hardest decision I have had to make for Cameron so far, and I was scared. I was scared I was going to lose my little boy. The little boy that drives me nuts sometimes with all his energy, and the little boy that makes me laugh because he is at times just crazy...in the best way possible with his wild imagination and, again, endless energy. I was scared he was going to be this zombie that just sat around with a glazed look in his eyes. I was scared that he wouldn't eat anymore, which was a possible side effect.
But then I thought about the other side of his life. The part that makes him sad because kids don't want to play with him. The part that makes his self esteem low because the teacher constantly has to say his name to get his attention or to calm him down. I remember the statement, "I don't have any friends." And again, I cried.
So here we are, a Saturday morning, the first day of his new medication. The first step in this process was to teach Cam how to swallow an actual pill, which he had never had to do before. Luckily, Shawn was amazing at that, and Cam actually thought it was pretty cool...not sure if that is good or not!
I told Cameron to let me know if he felt different in any way, and to let me know right away if he felt sick. Then he took the pill. My heart sank, fluttered, skipped....why was this so hard on me? He certainly didn't mind doing it!
Then I waited. An hour went by, no change. He acted the same, ate the same, everything was the same. I don't know what I was expecting to happen, but I was at least expecting SOMETHING to happen. Nothing. Same thing the next day. We stayed with this dosage for the next week, then called the doctor to let him know it wasn't working.
Basically, we amended the dosage 3 times before we finally got results. Then when we did, it was amazing. My mom, who lives in Minnesota, called to talk to me, and I put Cameron on the phone, as I usually do, and they had a conversation. A real conversation. Normally, Cameron says Hi, love you, bye....and he's done. My mom even said that she didn't know what to talk about, because she has never had a real conversation with him on the phone. He even asked her, "What have you been up to Grandma?" And then he listened, commented, and kept talking. I was seeing a positive difference.
His last quarter of school ended up being fantastic. He went from the kid that was shunned to the kid that the kids were asking for help from. Cameron was one of the best readers in his class, according to his teacher, and she said the other students were always asking Cam what this or that said. He became a class helper and a leader, and he was happy. Really, truly happy.
The teacher and counselor said they no longer needed regular meetings, and most likely his first grade teacher would not need to see us other than regular conferences either.
His appetite has decreased, mostly at lunch only, but I don't think that is a bad thing. Cameron loved to eat before, and not just when he was hungry. He would eat a full meal, as much as I would eat, and then ask me 10-15 minutes after dinner for a snack. There is no way he should have been hungry, but he would always ask. And keep asking all day long. Now, I do have to make him eat lunch, but breakfast and dinner are relatively normal. He just doesn't ask for more anymore, which is good. He has grown taller and thinned out a lot in the past 3 month, and he actually looks great!
We are still in the monitoring stages with his medical doctor and the medications, and we are still seeing the psychologist for behavioral help. The focus for the future: He now knows what it feels like to be under control, now he needs to figure out how keep that control and someday wean off the medication. That will most likely be years down the road, but we have the time, and we will do whatever it takes.
For now, we are all still adjusting, and still trying to figure out his diet and other factors that change how can act on a day to day basis, but overall, I am happy with the results, and most of all, Cameron is happy in his life right now.
To make a really long, and drawn out story shortened, Cameron and I attending months of counseling with a psychologist (who is not able to prescribe medication). In these sessions, we discussed many different behavioral techniques to be used at home and at school. Cameron was so willing and eager to try all of them, which was really great! We had "sticker" reward charts, which would give him stickers for keeping his hands to himself for half a day at school, or not interrupting or "shouting-out". We found that while Cameron is able to do this for a little while, a full half day was not in the cards.
We tried other methods of rewards, like when the teacher would give Cameron "tally marks" when she would catch him doing what he was supposed to do. After so many tally marks, he would get a prize out of the treasure chest. It took him awhile to get a reward, and he quickly forgot about it once he got the prize.
We tried many other methods suggested in part by the psychologist, teacher and school counselor. There was still no improvement.
The school counselor purchased these bands that go around the chair in the classroom. These are supposed to let him move his feet on the band to get out extra energy. No difference.
We went through this trial and error process from October 2010 until about March or April 2011. At the conference with the teacher and counselor, I asked them if I were to try medication for Cameron, when the best time would be for that. Should I wait until the next school year since this year was almost over?
The teacher told me that if I were to decide to pursue the medication, that doing it now, which was the start of the 4th quarter, would be the best option. She said that they would be able to tell if it did any good being in the same setting, rather than with a new teacher the next school year. It would be hard to tell at that point if it is the teacher/environment or if the medication was making a difference.
It was at that point that I called the his family physician, with the high recommendation from the psychologist, to try medication. And I cried after I made the call. I cried after I picked up the medication and the pharmacist explained all the side effects to me (the pharmacists son was on the exact same medication that I was about to start Cameron on, so it was a huge relief to speak to him about it). And finally, the night before I gave him the medication, I cried the most. (I am getting teary-eyed writing this right now).
This was the hardest decision I have had to make for Cameron so far, and I was scared. I was scared I was going to lose my little boy. The little boy that drives me nuts sometimes with all his energy, and the little boy that makes me laugh because he is at times just crazy...in the best way possible with his wild imagination and, again, endless energy. I was scared he was going to be this zombie that just sat around with a glazed look in his eyes. I was scared that he wouldn't eat anymore, which was a possible side effect.
But then I thought about the other side of his life. The part that makes him sad because kids don't want to play with him. The part that makes his self esteem low because the teacher constantly has to say his name to get his attention or to calm him down. I remember the statement, "I don't have any friends." And again, I cried.
So here we are, a Saturday morning, the first day of his new medication. The first step in this process was to teach Cam how to swallow an actual pill, which he had never had to do before. Luckily, Shawn was amazing at that, and Cam actually thought it was pretty cool...not sure if that is good or not!
I told Cameron to let me know if he felt different in any way, and to let me know right away if he felt sick. Then he took the pill. My heart sank, fluttered, skipped....why was this so hard on me? He certainly didn't mind doing it!
Then I waited. An hour went by, no change. He acted the same, ate the same, everything was the same. I don't know what I was expecting to happen, but I was at least expecting SOMETHING to happen. Nothing. Same thing the next day. We stayed with this dosage for the next week, then called the doctor to let him know it wasn't working.
Basically, we amended the dosage 3 times before we finally got results. Then when we did, it was amazing. My mom, who lives in Minnesota, called to talk to me, and I put Cameron on the phone, as I usually do, and they had a conversation. A real conversation. Normally, Cameron says Hi, love you, bye....and he's done. My mom even said that she didn't know what to talk about, because she has never had a real conversation with him on the phone. He even asked her, "What have you been up to Grandma?" And then he listened, commented, and kept talking. I was seeing a positive difference.
His last quarter of school ended up being fantastic. He went from the kid that was shunned to the kid that the kids were asking for help from. Cameron was one of the best readers in his class, according to his teacher, and she said the other students were always asking Cam what this or that said. He became a class helper and a leader, and he was happy. Really, truly happy.
The teacher and counselor said they no longer needed regular meetings, and most likely his first grade teacher would not need to see us other than regular conferences either.
His appetite has decreased, mostly at lunch only, but I don't think that is a bad thing. Cameron loved to eat before, and not just when he was hungry. He would eat a full meal, as much as I would eat, and then ask me 10-15 minutes after dinner for a snack. There is no way he should have been hungry, but he would always ask. And keep asking all day long. Now, I do have to make him eat lunch, but breakfast and dinner are relatively normal. He just doesn't ask for more anymore, which is good. He has grown taller and thinned out a lot in the past 3 month, and he actually looks great!
We are still in the monitoring stages with his medical doctor and the medications, and we are still seeing the psychologist for behavioral help. The focus for the future: He now knows what it feels like to be under control, now he needs to figure out how keep that control and someday wean off the medication. That will most likely be years down the road, but we have the time, and we will do whatever it takes.
For now, we are all still adjusting, and still trying to figure out his diet and other factors that change how can act on a day to day basis, but overall, I am happy with the results, and most of all, Cameron is happy in his life right now.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
The story continues...
Thank you to everyone who has given me their advice and support. I do appreciate all of it! It is good to know I am not alone, and there are people that I can go to for advice.
I last left off at the not knowing what to do about Cam, how I go about seeing if he needs help, and where I would even go for that. After about the 3rd or 4th conference with Cameron's teacher, we had tried everything we could think of to reward Cameron for good behavior, and nothing was working.
Now, when I say "good behavior," I don't mean that he is bad in the sense that he is a bully or a menace, purposely hurting or annoying other kids. The best way I can describe it is with this example. Imagine a six year old sitting next to you, he tries to interrupt you a few times, and you ask him hold on a second so you can finish your conversation. He is trying soooo hard to wait his turn to speak, that he is busting at the seams. He is squirming, standing up, sitting down, then rubbing his head into your arm, and when you ask him to please stop, he looks up at you like, "what did I do? I was being quiet like you asked me to."
You can just see it in his eyes that he does not mean to do the things he does (most of the time...he is still a 6 year old boy, and he totally has a guilty look, too!) A lot of times, you can just say "Cameron" and he realizes he is doing something he shouldn't be, and immediately stops. His teacher (who, by the way, is probably the best Kindergarten teacher in the world - so patient, understanding, and only wants the best for Cameron) says that the kids in his class are starting to call his name, like the teacher, when he is doing something wrong. They hear her correct him when he interrupts, tell him to sit still, keep his hands to himself, etc. She said now the kids will say, "Cameron, you need to keep you hands to yourself and stop bugging me." Apparantly, this happens often in a day. Heart.....break.
These kids are only in Kindergarten. I can't imagine what the poor kid will face when he is older, already labeled as the "problem" child.
Back to the last conference with his teacher, she said that at this point, she has tried everything that she can think of, and we both agreed that nothing brought any difference at all. She said she has done all she can do at this point.
This is the point when I called Cameron's doctor, to see what I do next. This is the same doctor that asked me at his Kindergarten physical, "Is he always like this?", as he was observing Cameron standing up, sitting down, jumping, spinning, interrupting.... When I said, "yes, he is full of energy...all the time!", he told me that may be something we need to keep an eye on. I blew it off at the time, but now I think he was on to something....
I last left off at the not knowing what to do about Cam, how I go about seeing if he needs help, and where I would even go for that. After about the 3rd or 4th conference with Cameron's teacher, we had tried everything we could think of to reward Cameron for good behavior, and nothing was working.
Now, when I say "good behavior," I don't mean that he is bad in the sense that he is a bully or a menace, purposely hurting or annoying other kids. The best way I can describe it is with this example. Imagine a six year old sitting next to you, he tries to interrupt you a few times, and you ask him hold on a second so you can finish your conversation. He is trying soooo hard to wait his turn to speak, that he is busting at the seams. He is squirming, standing up, sitting down, then rubbing his head into your arm, and when you ask him to please stop, he looks up at you like, "what did I do? I was being quiet like you asked me to."
You can just see it in his eyes that he does not mean to do the things he does (most of the time...he is still a 6 year old boy, and he totally has a guilty look, too!) A lot of times, you can just say "Cameron" and he realizes he is doing something he shouldn't be, and immediately stops. His teacher (who, by the way, is probably the best Kindergarten teacher in the world - so patient, understanding, and only wants the best for Cameron) says that the kids in his class are starting to call his name, like the teacher, when he is doing something wrong. They hear her correct him when he interrupts, tell him to sit still, keep his hands to himself, etc. She said now the kids will say, "Cameron, you need to keep you hands to yourself and stop bugging me." Apparantly, this happens often in a day. Heart.....break.
These kids are only in Kindergarten. I can't imagine what the poor kid will face when he is older, already labeled as the "problem" child.
Back to the last conference with his teacher, she said that at this point, she has tried everything that she can think of, and we both agreed that nothing brought any difference at all. She said she has done all she can do at this point.
This is the point when I called Cameron's doctor, to see what I do next. This is the same doctor that asked me at his Kindergarten physical, "Is he always like this?", as he was observing Cameron standing up, sitting down, jumping, spinning, interrupting.... When I said, "yes, he is full of energy...all the time!", he told me that may be something we need to keep an eye on. I blew it off at the time, but now I think he was on to something....
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Why did I wait???
My son, Cameron, told me tonight that none of the kids at school want to play with him. I tried as hard as I could to hold back the tears......
I wish I would have started this blog a long time ago. WHY DID I WAIT???? This comment from Cameron is just another ache that I feel in my heart for him.
Cameron has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I decided the best way for me to deal with this as a parent is to write about it, and hopefully I can get some insight from others.
This is such a controversial subject, and I have read so many opinions on it both positive and negative sides of the matter. We have gone through quite a journey this last year, and to really do the story justice, I need to back things up (again, why did I wait to start this??)
Cameron is my oldest son. He is six and in Kindergarten. He is so loveable and would do anything to get your attention and approval....he just doesn't know when to STOP trying to get your attention and approval. He has struggled in school the past two years (including preschool) with sitting in his seat, interrupting other kids when they are doing their work, talking without raising his hand, doing things as instructed, keeping hands to himself, interrupts when attention is not on him....you get the idea.
Sounds like a typical 6 year old boy, right? That's exactly what I thought at first. So when the teacher requested conferences every six weeks after only four weeks of school, I began to question my parenting skills. I tried to analyze every little thing I did: how I talked to him; the forms of punishment I used; do I spend enough time with him ...
I would get angry when he was getting letters home from school, and getting "yellow or red dots" in his planner rather than "green dots." I would punish him - take away his favorite video game for a few days, no TV, or anything else that happened to be his favorite thing that day. Nothing made a difference.
We have had multiple meetings with the school, trying to figure out everything possible that would help him. Sitting close to the teacher, giving him things to do when he finishes a task (he rushes through his work so quickly, and starts to bother other children), creating a reward system for good behavior....no difference.
I read up on the symptom of ADD/ADHD:
Signs and symptoms of inattention may include:
My thought process began to change. Maybe he really can't help what he's doing. Here I have been punishing him for things he may have no control over. Again, questioning my parenting skills. I starting reading up on methods used to lessen the effects of ADD/ADHD: I tried the high protein, no sugars. No arificial colors in food. I tried different reward methods, and steered away from punishment at the first resort. I also read up on medication. I did not want to consider that.
As I stated before....Why did I wait to start my blog? I have much more to talk about and feelings to share. Even if no one really reads this, it helps SO much just to write this out. The story will continue, but for now, I must say good night!
I wish I would have started this blog a long time ago. WHY DID I WAIT???? This comment from Cameron is just another ache that I feel in my heart for him.
Cameron has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. I decided the best way for me to deal with this as a parent is to write about it, and hopefully I can get some insight from others.
This is such a controversial subject, and I have read so many opinions on it both positive and negative sides of the matter. We have gone through quite a journey this last year, and to really do the story justice, I need to back things up (again, why did I wait to start this??)
Cameron is my oldest son. He is six and in Kindergarten. He is so loveable and would do anything to get your attention and approval....he just doesn't know when to STOP trying to get your attention and approval. He has struggled in school the past two years (including preschool) with sitting in his seat, interrupting other kids when they are doing their work, talking without raising his hand, doing things as instructed, keeping hands to himself, interrupts when attention is not on him....you get the idea.
Sounds like a typical 6 year old boy, right? That's exactly what I thought at first. So when the teacher requested conferences every six weeks after only four weeks of school, I began to question my parenting skills. I tried to analyze every little thing I did: how I talked to him; the forms of punishment I used; do I spend enough time with him ...
I would get angry when he was getting letters home from school, and getting "yellow or red dots" in his planner rather than "green dots." I would punish him - take away his favorite video game for a few days, no TV, or anything else that happened to be his favorite thing that day. Nothing made a difference.
We have had multiple meetings with the school, trying to figure out everything possible that would help him. Sitting close to the teacher, giving him things to do when he finishes a task (he rushes through his work so quickly, and starts to bother other children), creating a reward system for good behavior....no difference.
I read up on the symptom of ADD/ADHD:
Signs and symptoms of inattention may include:
- Often fails to pay close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork or other activities
- Often has trouble sustaining attention during tasks or play
- Seems not to listen even when spoken to directly
- Has difficulty following through on instructions and often fails to finish schoolwork, chores or other tasks
- Often has problems organizing tasks or activities
- Avoids or dislikes tasks that require sustained mental effort, such as schoolwork or homework
- Frequently loses needed items, such as books, pencils, toys or tools
- Can be easily distracted
- Often forgetful
- Fidgets or squirms frequently
- Often leaves his or her seat in the classroom or in other situations when remaining seated is expected
- Often runs or climbs excessively when it's not appropriate or, if an adolescent, might constantly feel restless
- Frequently has difficulty playing quietly
- Always seems on the go
- Talks excessively
- Blurts out the answers before questions have been completely asked
- Frequently has difficulty waiting for his or her turn
- Often interrupts or intrudes on others' conversations or games
My thought process began to change. Maybe he really can't help what he's doing. Here I have been punishing him for things he may have no control over. Again, questioning my parenting skills. I starting reading up on methods used to lessen the effects of ADD/ADHD: I tried the high protein, no sugars. No arificial colors in food. I tried different reward methods, and steered away from punishment at the first resort. I also read up on medication. I did not want to consider that.
As I stated before....Why did I wait to start my blog? I have much more to talk about and feelings to share. Even if no one really reads this, it helps SO much just to write this out. The story will continue, but for now, I must say good night!
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