The story continues...

Thank you to everyone who has given me their advice and support.  I do appreciate all of it!  It is good to know I am not alone, and there are people that I can go to for advice.

I last left off at the not knowing what to do about Cam, how I go about seeing if he needs help, and where I would even go for that. After about the 3rd or 4th conference with Cameron's teacher, we had tried everything we could think of to reward Cameron for good behavior, and nothing was working. 

Now, when I say "good behavior," I don't mean that he is bad in the sense that he is a bully or a menace, purposely hurting or annoying other kids.  The best way I can describe it is with this example.  Imagine a six year old sitting next to you, he tries to interrupt you a few times, and you ask him hold on a second so you can finish your conversation.  He is trying soooo hard to wait his turn to speak, that he is busting at the seams.  He is squirming, standing up, sitting down, then rubbing his head into your arm, and when you ask him to please stop, he looks up at you like, "what did I do?  I was being quiet like you asked me to."

You can just see it in his eyes that he does not mean to do the things he does (most of the time...he is still a 6 year old boy, and he totally has a guilty look, too!)  A lot of times, you can just say "Cameron" and he realizes he is doing something he shouldn't be, and immediately stops.  His teacher (who, by the way, is probably the best Kindergarten teacher in the world - so patient, understanding, and only wants the best for Cameron) says that the kids in his class are starting to call his name, like the teacher, when he is doing something wrong.  They hear her correct him when he interrupts, tell him to sit still, keep his hands to himself, etc.  She said now the kids will say, "Cameron, you need to keep you hands to yourself and stop bugging me."   Apparantly, this happens often in a day.  Heart.....break.

These kids are only in Kindergarten.  I can't imagine what the poor kid will face when he is older, already labeled as the "problem" child.

Back to the last conference with his teacher, she said that at this point, she has tried everything that she can think of, and we both agreed that nothing brought any difference at all.  She said she has done all she can do at this point. 

This is the point when I called Cameron's doctor, to see what I do next.  This is the same doctor that asked me at his Kindergarten physical, "Is he always like this?", as he was observing Cameron standing up, sitting down, jumping, spinning, interrupting....  When I said, "yes, he is full of energy...all the time!", he told me that may be something we need to keep an eye on.  I blew it off at the time, but now I think he was on to something....

Why did I wait???

My son, Cameron, told me tonight that none of the kids at school want to play with him.  I tried as hard as I could to hold back the tears......

I wish I would have started this blog a long time ago.  WHY DID I WAIT????  This comment from Cameron is just another ache that I feel in my heart for him. 

Cameron has recently been diagnosed with ADHD.  I decided the best way for me to deal with this as a parent is to write about it, and hopefully I can get some insight from others.

This is such a controversial subject, and I have read so many opinions on it both positive and negative sides of the matter.  We have gone through quite a journey this last year, and to really do the story justice, I need to back things up (again, why did I wait to start this??)

Cameron is my oldest son.  He is six and in Kindergarten.  He is so loveable and would do anything to get your attention and approval....he just doesn't know when to STOP trying to get your attention and approval.  He has struggled in school the past two years (including preschool) with sitting in his seat, interrupting other kids when they are doing their work, talking without raising his hand, doing things as instructed, keeping hands to himself, interrupts when attention is not on him....you get the idea.

Sounds like a typical 6 year old boy, right?  That's exactly what I thought at first.  So when the teacher requested conferences every six weeks after only four weeks of school, I began to question my parenting skills.  I tried to analyze every little thing I did:  how I talked to him; the forms of punishment I used; do I spend enough time with him ...

I would get angry when he was getting letters home from school, and getting "yellow or red dots" in his planner rather than "green dots."  I would punish him - take away his favorite video game for a few days, no TV, or anything else that happened to be his favorite thing that day.  Nothing made a difference. 

We have had multiple meetings with the school, trying to figure out everything possible that would help him.  Sitting close to the teacher, giving him things to do when he finishes a task (he rushes through his work so quickly, and starts to bother other children), creating a reward system for good behavior....no difference.

I read up on the symptom of ADD/ADHD:
Signs and symptoms of inattention may include:

• Often fails to pay close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork or other activities
• Often has trouble sustaining attention during tasks or play
• Seems not to listen even when spoken to directly
• Has difficulty following through on instructions and often fails to finish schoolwork, chores or other tasks
• Often has problems organizing tasks or activities
• Avoids or dislikes tasks that require sustained mental effort, such as schoolwork or homework
• Frequently loses needed items, such as books, pencils, toys or tools
• Can be easily distracted
• Often forgetful

Signs and symptoms of hyperactive and impulsive behavior may include:

• Fidgets or squirms frequently
• Often leaves his or her seat in the classroom or in other situations when remaining seated is expected
• Often runs or climbs excessively when it's not appropriate or, if an adolescent, might constantly feel restless
• Frequently has difficulty playing quietly
• Always seems on the go
• Talks excessively
• Blurts out the answers before questions have been completely asked
• Frequently has difficulty waiting for his or her turn
• Often interrupts or intrudes on others' conversations or games

THIS IS MY SON.

My thought process began to change.  Maybe he really can't help what he's doing.  Here I have been punishing him for things he may have no control over.  Again, questioning my parenting skills.  I starting reading up on methods used to lessen the effects of ADD/ADHD:  I tried the high protein, no sugars.  No arificial colors in food.  I tried different reward methods, and steered away from punishment at the first resort.  I also read up on medication.  I did not want to consider that.

As I stated before....Why did I wait to start my blog?  I have much more to talk about and feelings to share.  Even if no one really reads this, it helps SO much just to write this out.  The story will continue, but for now, I must say good night!